One Thing I’ll Never Do Again

“At work there was a woman, with whom I didn’t really get along. One day she brought in her new Chow puppy, which promptly began to urinate all over her office. Gross, but whatever. Then she decides she’s going out to lunch and asks me to keep an eye on the dog for 45 minutes. The next thing I know is that the dog is darting out the main office door and onto a waiting elevator. The people in the elevator hold the door open and I reach out to grab the dog. It whips around its oversized head and sinks its teeth into my wrist. I still managed to bring the dog back into the office but I had to get a tetanus shot. No more Ms. Nice Guy.” —Robbie McCall, Burlington, VT